Thank you Andrew for writing the history of "Parental Alienation" , and the continual demonization of people who observe it. The mainstream denial, the claims of fake science, and the cancelling of academic careers by anyone who exposes the topic has gone on for centuries. Dr. Childress, and Amy Baker are just the latest examples of cancellation. You, and Madi and Ryan Thomas have the armor of being the children of abusive parents (less ability to be cancelled and demonized) , and I admire your courage to expose the Alienation dynamic in spite of all the skeletons laid in front of you. Keep of the noble work, and you are an inspiration to many of us living in the debris from families destroyed by Alienation. Your writing has a meaningful impact, eventhough you are giving up the opportunity having millions of followers. Bravo.
Topics I think that I would like to see you write about are an extension of your statement about "Parental Alienation" becoming simply "Alienation", ... and by further extension "Alienation" is a cultural form of cancellation we also see outside the family court, and in all dimensions of life: politics, academia, corporate, cultural. The phenomenon of doxxing a person politically, and smearing their reputation in public, is the same abusive tactic used by Alienating parents. It is very general psychological abuse, and dysfunctional behavior we see everywhere in our culture.
Another topic would be on "Alienation as simple and easy to identify". Childress shows this easy diagnosis in his academic work, but a more commonsense approach would to explain how abusers use complications and messy details to obfuscate the obviousness of it. I cannot count the number of people who addressed my situation as "complex, extreme and legally messy" when that was the whole strategy of the abuser. The abuser want to hide behind a wall of complexity to keep the "obvious immorality and evil of the situation" from being seen. Parental Alienation can be spotted immediately and from a mile away. This is one of the most frustrating aspects from a parent trying to protect their child. The abuse is obvious and easy to see, but countless people refuse to believe such a horror could take place and defend their denial with the excuse of complexity.
And a third topic, would be to focus on the "False Allegations" of the abuser as the core component of Alienation. Many articles appropriately focus n the child abuse and suffering and the symptoms. But I have never seen a case of Alienation that did not involve delusional lies, and formally making those lies to authorities such as Police, Courts and Churches. If we want to stop the Alienation, we must hold dishonesty to account. Lies destroy lives, and until there is stronger censure for “False Allegations” the abuse will continue.
Thanks Andrew, and simply some genuine suggestions for topics of interest. Thank you for your efforts on this general topic.
This is an excellent, well-written, accurate summarization about the attempts to deny the existence of Parental Alienation... PA stories are seen in everything from the Bible/King Solomon's True Mother to popular sitcom TV shows ("Everybody Loves Raymond"/Season 8-Episode 13). To try and counter PA/psychological child abuse I believe it makes sense to make a marriage license count instead of giving it out like candy... so why not have in-depth screening/education/psychiatric screening of couples (including info on Parental Alienation) BEFORE a marriage license is granted to a couple...? It may not prevent child abuse or domestic abuse at 100% but it's a start in the right direction & worth saving the hearts, minds and lives of innocent children...
Thank you! Some of our discussions in the past have helped inspire this article, and when you mentioned the story of Solomon, I immediately wondered what other cases there were in history and there are many!
“It also means that interventions can be guided by existing evidence-based practices such as attachment repair, structural family therapy, and treatment protocols for personality disorders rather than speculative or novel techniques.” Excellent article!
Now, specifically how best to approach as a therapist, outreach to estranged alienated adults, toward reunification with their parents and siblings, when the estranged adult/s refuse any outreach by the therapist regarding the alienated parent/s, even in the context of therapy?
Thanks again, Judi
Love your writing in this topic!!! Thank you for all of the time and effort that went into this piece and for sharing it here!
This is definitely a really tough question and in full transparency, I am not sure. I know that experts like Dr. Alyse Price-Tobler are working on treatment protocols right now so that has been one thing I have been waiting for.
In terms of estrangement, I am also setting aside time to see what Dr. Joshua Coleman says but I have not had a chance to sit down and read his book yet. Once I start working on my article on estrangement (sometime next year) I will probably have a clearer answer.
For now, what I can say is that in cases of severe alienation, especially if the child is self-enforcing their own alienation from their parent, the parent must do the deeper personal work to ensure they are not reacting during conflict inappropriately so that they can hold a space for their child to unload whatever deeper emotions that are hurting them.
I think the most challenging part to address in cases of undue influence/alienation/estrangement, especially in those now adults, who are living with mental illness, is the outreach piece, and how to bring them to the table to be heard and to discuss anything at all, especially reality based experience. And as more years go by, this refusal to engage in any form, just causes the alienation/estrangement/false memories etc., that the adult embodies now, to become more entrenched.
Well said. I have been spending the last year thinking about what strategies can work to reach out to a severely alienated child/estranged child and I am not quite happy with what I have so far so I haven't finished that article yet. But I will spend more time thinking about it and see what I can find so that I can publish that article soon.
I’m really glad that you’ve been thinking about this question. I look forward to reading your article on this topic. Thank you!!! Your writing within this piece is quite thorough and I shared it with Josh Coleman, another therapist I know and two of my closest friends. I also restacked it. I hope your work reaches far and wide. The topic of alienation and undue influence resulting in estrangement, needs all of the positive resources toward understanding, that can be found! Judi
Hi Andrew, I so appreciate what you are doing to expose this scourge of family alienation. My granddaughter was cut off from me, her dad's legacy, and our side of the family both before birth (in terms of communication and information), at birth, and since her birth--This all began after the tragic death of my son, which occurred 2 and 1/2 months before the birth of his daughter. Losing both my son and my granddaughter have devastated me and caused such unbearable pain and trauma to me and our family that it is beyond words to express it. In spite of my continued efforts, my grandchild's maternal side and now also stepfather's side refuse any offers to repair this situation and it is going on 8 years. I do hope that you write more about the severing of ties of entire sides of families as part of alienation. Cutting off a parent, even after death, often leads to cutting off the entire side of grandparents, great-grands, aunts, uncles, cousins, as well as heritage, traits, and their unique brand of love.
I wish to offer a recommendation for your posts from one writer to another, please take it or leave it according to your needs: It appears that your posts are built or structured by AI or ChatGPT. I would recommend ditching ChatGPT/AI and writing authentically from your heart, doing your own research via books, media, and research search engines like Google Scholar, or rely on ChatGPT only for locating a source. The resonance and humanity of your posts will be richer and fuller, even if less detailed and shorter. I say this to invite you to build the gift you have for writing and sharing your story and because I want to sense your unique "resonance" coming through your words. Regardless of whether you take or leave my recommendation, I appreciate all that you do and that you have trusted the public with your painful story. Thank you!
I have quite a few articles in the pipeline for 2026 that will touch on these elements more, but I haven't fully developed them yet. Part of the challenge is that I want to focus on tangible solutions rather than fixating on academic materials and theory.
Regarding AI-generated writing, I unfortunately have limited time, so AI is a means to an end. I do heavily edit what is produced and fact-check my sources, but I understand the worry about quality and veracity. I also come from a marketing background, so much of the AI formatting is trained upon business writing, which is part of how I structure articles anyway.
I did write a few articles years ago before the onset of AI and can share them below.
I look forward to your 2026 articles to include some about the cut off of entire sides of a child's family. I imagine this must have affected you personally, too.
I certainly understand wanting to focus on the tangible solutions; after all, that's what we are all craving in our situations, is figuring out what might work. But, I have found in this past 8 years of indefinite mourning of the death of my son and being cut off from my granddaughter that there are no one-size-fits-all solutions. Each situation is so different, and each alienator has different motivations. Nothing I have read on the topic, such as from Alienated Grandparents Anonymous, seems to really "work". Why? Because In my grandchild's case, her maternal side and now step side (compounding the alienation) just want her all to themselves, with my son's legacy and our side completely severed. In fact, last I could find out, my granddaughter is not aware that her stepfather is not her birthfather and she is not aware that my son, me, nor our family exist. My son, who I adopted from foster care, also has biological family, so there is such a huge legacy that my granddaughter has been severed from (I never cut off my son from his biological family and I even allowed occasional supervised visits when it was safe to do so). There hasn't been any concrete reason that I have been ever given as to why this is happening with my granddaughter, just a total cut off of all communication with the exception of one brief discussion I had with them and then I was quickly cut off again, even though it went so well--better than could be expected. Yet, for no conceivable reason, the door was closed again after what looked like hope.
Your explanation about AI makes sense. Lack of time to write is my greatest challenge as a writer, too. Thanks for the link to your older articles!
I haven't announced this publicly, but I am actually working with a grandparent on a book about family alienation (this is part of where my time is going). She was unfortunately alienated from her kids, and subsequently, grandkids, and extended family by her mother after being alienated from her father. That book is still being developed and I don't have a clear timeline for release. With that said, this particular book is mostly focused on learning the language of alienation, so it won't have clear solutions beyond the awareness stage.
And you are right that there are no one-sized-fits-all options and much of what is shared tends to have only worked for the person who is sharing.
There are some crossovers to estrangement so I am trying to learn what is taught in that area as well to see what can be adapted but even the estranged parents are coming up short.
My condolences to you and your family regarding your son. I will make a note to see what solutions I can uncover with your situation in mind.
Wonderful news about your book project, Andrew! A book is a huge time undertaking, as you know, but it is a powerful resource to give people that stands the test of time. My second parenting book focused a lot on my son's story, but to prevent the situation with my granddaughter worsening, I could not say much about my situation with my grandchild other than that my side, her dad and I, have been erased from her life. I like how your book focus will be on the awareness. This is a good approach: prevention!--When I work with families, I try to caution parents ahead of time when I see red flags for alienation of the children or, behaviors in them that could set people up for grandchild alienation in the future (e.g., the parent criticizing the child's partner, for example).
I have found that in the grandparent alienation community, most support and advice focuses on situations in which the children alienate their parents from the grandchildren. In those situations, there could be a history of abuse or neglect that must be discussed and worked out and healed. There is not much for the growing population of us grandparents (especially young grandparents like myself--I was only 43 when I became a Nana) who had a close relationship with our children, but are suffering a total cut off from our grandchildren after the deaths of our children, usually very young men (my son was 23). Please do feel free to reach out to me if you want to include this important dynamic of family alienation of severing a side after death. I have met so many grandparents, usually young Gen X-ers like myself, going through this with, of course, their own living parents and siblings also suffering from the cut off. My granddaughter lost two 94-year-old elders in my family who waited to meet her and never did before their deaths (my last living grandparent and my great-aunt). I worry about if my parents, in their mid-70s, will live to meet her. Will even I at 51 now? I'm an active, healthy, athletic person, but the endless bereavement has done a number on my holistic health.
Thank you so much for your condolences, I appreciate it. It was 8 years ago last month that my son, Brycen died. Both he and my granddaughter share the same birthday month, which is coming up soon. She'll be turning 8, and I celebrate every one of her birthdays in my own way.
Dear Andrew, thank you for another really excellent article. You have real talent for identifying and clearly explaining the most useful points despite all the apparent complexity. I attribute this to the fact that you are among few authors in this field that have actually got skin in the game. All of your writing has been so useful for that reason. Thanks again for being so clear and so helpful.
Thank you Andrew for writing the history of "Parental Alienation" , and the continual demonization of people who observe it. The mainstream denial, the claims of fake science, and the cancelling of academic careers by anyone who exposes the topic has gone on for centuries. Dr. Childress, and Amy Baker are just the latest examples of cancellation. You, and Madi and Ryan Thomas have the armor of being the children of abusive parents (less ability to be cancelled and demonized) , and I admire your courage to expose the Alienation dynamic in spite of all the skeletons laid in front of you. Keep of the noble work, and you are an inspiration to many of us living in the debris from families destroyed by Alienation. Your writing has a meaningful impact, eventhough you are giving up the opportunity having millions of followers. Bravo.
Thank you! Let me know if there are any topics you would like covered in the future as I want this to be practical for parents. :)
Topics I think that I would like to see you write about are an extension of your statement about "Parental Alienation" becoming simply "Alienation", ... and by further extension "Alienation" is a cultural form of cancellation we also see outside the family court, and in all dimensions of life: politics, academia, corporate, cultural. The phenomenon of doxxing a person politically, and smearing their reputation in public, is the same abusive tactic used by Alienating parents. It is very general psychological abuse, and dysfunctional behavior we see everywhere in our culture.
Another topic would be on "Alienation as simple and easy to identify". Childress shows this easy diagnosis in his academic work, but a more commonsense approach would to explain how abusers use complications and messy details to obfuscate the obviousness of it. I cannot count the number of people who addressed my situation as "complex, extreme and legally messy" when that was the whole strategy of the abuser. The abuser want to hide behind a wall of complexity to keep the "obvious immorality and evil of the situation" from being seen. Parental Alienation can be spotted immediately and from a mile away. This is one of the most frustrating aspects from a parent trying to protect their child. The abuse is obvious and easy to see, but countless people refuse to believe such a horror could take place and defend their denial with the excuse of complexity.
And a third topic, would be to focus on the "False Allegations" of the abuser as the core component of Alienation. Many articles appropriately focus n the child abuse and suffering and the symptoms. But I have never seen a case of Alienation that did not involve delusional lies, and formally making those lies to authorities such as Police, Courts and Churches. If we want to stop the Alienation, we must hold dishonesty to account. Lies destroy lives, and until there is stronger censure for “False Allegations” the abuse will continue.
Thanks Andrew, and simply some genuine suggestions for topics of interest. Thank you for your efforts on this general topic.
Great suggestions! I will make a note of them and work them into my writing pipeline. :)
This is an excellent, well-written, accurate summarization about the attempts to deny the existence of Parental Alienation... PA stories are seen in everything from the Bible/King Solomon's True Mother to popular sitcom TV shows ("Everybody Loves Raymond"/Season 8-Episode 13). To try and counter PA/psychological child abuse I believe it makes sense to make a marriage license count instead of giving it out like candy... so why not have in-depth screening/education/psychiatric screening of couples (including info on Parental Alienation) BEFORE a marriage license is granted to a couple...? It may not prevent child abuse or domestic abuse at 100% but it's a start in the right direction & worth saving the hearts, minds and lives of innocent children...
Thank you! Some of our discussions in the past have helped inspire this article, and when you mentioned the story of Solomon, I immediately wondered what other cases there were in history and there are many!
Education can definitely help and go a long way.
“It also means that interventions can be guided by existing evidence-based practices such as attachment repair, structural family therapy, and treatment protocols for personality disorders rather than speculative or novel techniques.” Excellent article!
Now, specifically how best to approach as a therapist, outreach to estranged alienated adults, toward reunification with their parents and siblings, when the estranged adult/s refuse any outreach by the therapist regarding the alienated parent/s, even in the context of therapy?
Thanks again, Judi
Love your writing in this topic!!! Thank you for all of the time and effort that went into this piece and for sharing it here!
This is definitely a really tough question and in full transparency, I am not sure. I know that experts like Dr. Alyse Price-Tobler are working on treatment protocols right now so that has been one thing I have been waiting for.
In terms of estrangement, I am also setting aside time to see what Dr. Joshua Coleman says but I have not had a chance to sit down and read his book yet. Once I start working on my article on estrangement (sometime next year) I will probably have a clearer answer.
For now, what I can say is that in cases of severe alienation, especially if the child is self-enforcing their own alienation from their parent, the parent must do the deeper personal work to ensure they are not reacting during conflict inappropriately so that they can hold a space for their child to unload whatever deeper emotions that are hurting them.
Yes! Josh Coleman’s work on estrangement is excellent! He has recent writing on his recent Substack called “Family Troubles”. Here is a link: https://open.substack.com/pub/joshuacolemanphd?r=19kwel&utm_medium=ios
I think the most challenging part to address in cases of undue influence/alienation/estrangement, especially in those now adults, who are living with mental illness, is the outreach piece, and how to bring them to the table to be heard and to discuss anything at all, especially reality based experience. And as more years go by, this refusal to engage in any form, just causes the alienation/estrangement/false memories etc., that the adult embodies now, to become more entrenched.
Well said. I have been spending the last year thinking about what strategies can work to reach out to a severely alienated child/estranged child and I am not quite happy with what I have so far so I haven't finished that article yet. But I will spend more time thinking about it and see what I can find so that I can publish that article soon.
I’m really glad that you’ve been thinking about this question. I look forward to reading your article on this topic. Thank you!!! Your writing within this piece is quite thorough and I shared it with Josh Coleman, another therapist I know and two of my closest friends. I also restacked it. I hope your work reaches far and wide. The topic of alienation and undue influence resulting in estrangement, needs all of the positive resources toward understanding, that can be found! Judi
Hi Andrew, I so appreciate what you are doing to expose this scourge of family alienation. My granddaughter was cut off from me, her dad's legacy, and our side of the family both before birth (in terms of communication and information), at birth, and since her birth--This all began after the tragic death of my son, which occurred 2 and 1/2 months before the birth of his daughter. Losing both my son and my granddaughter have devastated me and caused such unbearable pain and trauma to me and our family that it is beyond words to express it. In spite of my continued efforts, my grandchild's maternal side and now also stepfather's side refuse any offers to repair this situation and it is going on 8 years. I do hope that you write more about the severing of ties of entire sides of families as part of alienation. Cutting off a parent, even after death, often leads to cutting off the entire side of grandparents, great-grands, aunts, uncles, cousins, as well as heritage, traits, and their unique brand of love.
I wish to offer a recommendation for your posts from one writer to another, please take it or leave it according to your needs: It appears that your posts are built or structured by AI or ChatGPT. I would recommend ditching ChatGPT/AI and writing authentically from your heart, doing your own research via books, media, and research search engines like Google Scholar, or rely on ChatGPT only for locating a source. The resonance and humanity of your posts will be richer and fuller, even if less detailed and shorter. I say this to invite you to build the gift you have for writing and sharing your story and because I want to sense your unique "resonance" coming through your words. Regardless of whether you take or leave my recommendation, I appreciate all that you do and that you have trusted the public with your painful story. Thank you!
I appreciate your feedback Laurie.
I have quite a few articles in the pipeline for 2026 that will touch on these elements more, but I haven't fully developed them yet. Part of the challenge is that I want to focus on tangible solutions rather than fixating on academic materials and theory.
Regarding AI-generated writing, I unfortunately have limited time, so AI is a means to an end. I do heavily edit what is produced and fact-check my sources, but I understand the worry about quality and veracity. I also come from a marketing background, so much of the AI formatting is trained upon business writing, which is part of how I structure articles anyway.
I did write a few articles years ago before the onset of AI and can share them below.
https://andrewfolkler.com/parental-alienation/#blog
Thanks again Laurie :)
I look forward to your 2026 articles to include some about the cut off of entire sides of a child's family. I imagine this must have affected you personally, too.
I certainly understand wanting to focus on the tangible solutions; after all, that's what we are all craving in our situations, is figuring out what might work. But, I have found in this past 8 years of indefinite mourning of the death of my son and being cut off from my granddaughter that there are no one-size-fits-all solutions. Each situation is so different, and each alienator has different motivations. Nothing I have read on the topic, such as from Alienated Grandparents Anonymous, seems to really "work". Why? Because In my grandchild's case, her maternal side and now step side (compounding the alienation) just want her all to themselves, with my son's legacy and our side completely severed. In fact, last I could find out, my granddaughter is not aware that her stepfather is not her birthfather and she is not aware that my son, me, nor our family exist. My son, who I adopted from foster care, also has biological family, so there is such a huge legacy that my granddaughter has been severed from (I never cut off my son from his biological family and I even allowed occasional supervised visits when it was safe to do so). There hasn't been any concrete reason that I have been ever given as to why this is happening with my granddaughter, just a total cut off of all communication with the exception of one brief discussion I had with them and then I was quickly cut off again, even though it went so well--better than could be expected. Yet, for no conceivable reason, the door was closed again after what looked like hope.
Your explanation about AI makes sense. Lack of time to write is my greatest challenge as a writer, too. Thanks for the link to your older articles!
Absolutely Laurie.
I haven't announced this publicly, but I am actually working with a grandparent on a book about family alienation (this is part of where my time is going). She was unfortunately alienated from her kids, and subsequently, grandkids, and extended family by her mother after being alienated from her father. That book is still being developed and I don't have a clear timeline for release. With that said, this particular book is mostly focused on learning the language of alienation, so it won't have clear solutions beyond the awareness stage.
And you are right that there are no one-sized-fits-all options and much of what is shared tends to have only worked for the person who is sharing.
There are some crossovers to estrangement so I am trying to learn what is taught in that area as well to see what can be adapted but even the estranged parents are coming up short.
My condolences to you and your family regarding your son. I will make a note to see what solutions I can uncover with your situation in mind.
Wonderful news about your book project, Andrew! A book is a huge time undertaking, as you know, but it is a powerful resource to give people that stands the test of time. My second parenting book focused a lot on my son's story, but to prevent the situation with my granddaughter worsening, I could not say much about my situation with my grandchild other than that my side, her dad and I, have been erased from her life. I like how your book focus will be on the awareness. This is a good approach: prevention!--When I work with families, I try to caution parents ahead of time when I see red flags for alienation of the children or, behaviors in them that could set people up for grandchild alienation in the future (e.g., the parent criticizing the child's partner, for example).
I have found that in the grandparent alienation community, most support and advice focuses on situations in which the children alienate their parents from the grandchildren. In those situations, there could be a history of abuse or neglect that must be discussed and worked out and healed. There is not much for the growing population of us grandparents (especially young grandparents like myself--I was only 43 when I became a Nana) who had a close relationship with our children, but are suffering a total cut off from our grandchildren after the deaths of our children, usually very young men (my son was 23). Please do feel free to reach out to me if you want to include this important dynamic of family alienation of severing a side after death. I have met so many grandparents, usually young Gen X-ers like myself, going through this with, of course, their own living parents and siblings also suffering from the cut off. My granddaughter lost two 94-year-old elders in my family who waited to meet her and never did before their deaths (my last living grandparent and my great-aunt). I worry about if my parents, in their mid-70s, will live to meet her. Will even I at 51 now? I'm an active, healthy, athletic person, but the endless bereavement has done a number on my holistic health.
Thank you so much for your condolences, I appreciate it. It was 8 years ago last month that my son, Brycen died. Both he and my granddaughter share the same birthday month, which is coming up soon. She'll be turning 8, and I celebrate every one of her birthdays in my own way.
Dear Andrew, thank you for another really excellent article. You have real talent for identifying and clearly explaining the most useful points despite all the apparent complexity. I attribute this to the fact that you are among few authors in this field that have actually got skin in the game. All of your writing has been so useful for that reason. Thanks again for being so clear and so helpful.
Thank you so much Ashwin. Your comments mean the world to me and I deeply appreciate your support.