As always, grateful for your wisdom & knowledge that helps so many of us... Apologies if you've already addressed this topic/issue: How some adults who were alienated as children... allegedly have higher risks of themselves becoming alienated parents with their own children??? Some of the well-known PA expert Psychologists/Therapists -- (at least the ones I consulted plus those who post on YouTube) --mention a horrifying common thread amongst alienated kids/now adults: that they have highest odds of marrying, then divorcing and then they (themselves) getting alienated from their own children...??? This is a complex issue, but one of the mosty terrifying... the one that needs the brightest spotlight shining on it to prevent more broken souls, more multigenerational trauma/injury from happening...
Great question. When we don't do the inner work and healing, we set ourselves up for following what is familiar. One thing I mentioned in Finding Love after Alienation Part 1 was Imago Relationship Theory where we will model our idea of love based on how our parents loved us. We seek out familiar patterns to feel secure.
The challenge is that what is familiar is not always what is in our best interests. Living with an alienating person teaches you how to fit into a role. If you do not recognize the role you are playing, you inadvertantly step into a relationship with someone who seems attractive at first but is leading you back to the same dance you were stuck in before.
So with alienated parents, many are realizing they were alienated as kids, and they likely met someone who they thought could fill the emotional deficits that their parents left, and unfortunately didn't see the signs that they too had married someone who would repeat the past.
As always, grateful for your wisdom & knowledge that helps so many of us... Apologies if you've already addressed this topic/issue: How some adults who were alienated as children... allegedly have higher risks of themselves becoming alienated parents with their own children??? Some of the well-known PA expert Psychologists/Therapists -- (at least the ones I consulted plus those who post on YouTube) --mention a horrifying common thread amongst alienated kids/now adults: that they have highest odds of marrying, then divorcing and then they (themselves) getting alienated from their own children...??? This is a complex issue, but one of the mosty terrifying... the one that needs the brightest spotlight shining on it to prevent more broken souls, more multigenerational trauma/injury from happening...
Great question. When we don't do the inner work and healing, we set ourselves up for following what is familiar. One thing I mentioned in Finding Love after Alienation Part 1 was Imago Relationship Theory where we will model our idea of love based on how our parents loved us. We seek out familiar patterns to feel secure.
The challenge is that what is familiar is not always what is in our best interests. Living with an alienating person teaches you how to fit into a role. If you do not recognize the role you are playing, you inadvertantly step into a relationship with someone who seems attractive at first but is leading you back to the same dance you were stuck in before.
So with alienated parents, many are realizing they were alienated as kids, and they likely met someone who they thought could fill the emotional deficits that their parents left, and unfortunately didn't see the signs that they too had married someone who would repeat the past.